Are You Playing the Blame Game?

I was thinking today about the situation with the recent riots around the globe.

The frustration of young people is understandable. These days 'job security' is a thing of the past, they have to pay increasingly large amounts to get a university education and if they get one, their qualification is now so prolific that they have to fight to be noticed. If they want to buy their own property, they have to work in exploitative situations to even get a chance of saving money. Add to that the people who left school with poor literacy and numeracy skills and who live in dangerous gang-ruled neighbourhoods and you can see why a lot of youngsters are feeling disenfranchised.

There's also of course, the situation relating to politicians and fat cats in business (especially banking it seems) who seem to be increasingly on the make, whilst they struggle. Their role models often seem to be eithe superficial or people who apparently don't care what they do, so long as they can spin their way out of taking responsibility and can be seen to be "successful". Never mind the moral issues at stake or social responsibility.

Having said all of that, rioting and looting is clearly not an accetable or constructive way of achieving anything and only places more power into the hands of those in charge.

After the riots, I heard a lot of interviews where people involved in the riots had blamed the police for being heavy-handed and said it was their fault. There are a lot of excuses bandied around for bad behaviour these days in our society.

But if the police were at fault, how does doing something that disrupts their own environment and the people around them help? Answer? It doesn't. As my Mum and Dad used to say "Two wrongs don't make a right".

One of the issues here is that there are always things that happen which appear to us as unfair or just downright wrong. That's life! But we always have a choice in how we react to these situations. Either we use them to do something positive or we fall into the blame game.

"It's not my fault" "He/she started it" and so on. Know what I mean?

If there's something that's hurt and upset us, we can choose to react violently and blame everyone else for our own misfortune. We can moan and not do anything. But this only gives away your power and passes it into the hands of the people you least want to give it to. It makes you weaker and puts you in a position of even further rejection and dissatisfaction.

On the other hand, you can choose to take your experience, however hurtful and disappointing and take responsibility for your own actions, by doing something positive to counter this negative feeling. Something which makes you feel better and which puts you in a position of control.

Of course, that means you have to DO something and you may have to admit to some mistakes of your own before you can move forward. For the youngsters involved in the riots for example, how could they have approached their situation more positively?

If they are afraid in their communities, they can form groups to work WITH the police and other security forces to help protect themselves. If they are illiterate and innumerate, they can seek teaching help from friends and others who know more than they do. If they want change, they can form organised pressure groups and so on, and so on. These may not change the world in the first day, but at least they'll be taking responsibility for their actions and doing something constructive to help themselves. And they're going to feel more powerful and more positive as a result.

The trouble with the blame game - not just in relation to the riots, but in everyone's daily life - is that it's a good way of relinquishing responsibility. When you blame everyone else, you don't have to be accountable for anything and you choose to give up your personal power, which is hardly likely to make you feel any better.

However, when you take your challenge and use it positively (think here, Christopher Reeve, Nelson Mandela, paralympists and so on), you put yourself in a position (however challenging) where you can make changes (however small) and start to make a difference, at least for yourself and amongst those around you. It then affects how you feel about yourself and your enthusiasm and energy can rapidly spread to other quarters.

Playing the blame game, creates MORE stress in your life and leaves you powerless.

When are YOU going to take charge? When will you STOP playing the blame game and get back in control?