Disagreements Don't Mean the End of a Relationship

I've been experiencing a few conflicts recently amongst family and friends, which have been particularly challenging.   I realise how easy it is for these things to get out of control and for everyone to get so stuck in their corner that it's hard to back down.

But what is the reason we become so upset with people?   It's usually because these people matter to us and we want them to behave in a certain way.   When they don't, we can become angry, upset and disappointed.   Sometimes, these feelings are justifiable if someone we care about does something which they know will be contrary to our own values.

As usual though, it's all about balance.   Even serious disagreements don't have to mean the end of a relationship.   If we can express our points of view and be willing to listen to another's point of view and if we are able to forgive people for being human and making mistakes, then the relationship can even become stronger in the wake of these upsets because:

1. You learn more about each other and perhaps can improve your communication
2. You learn more about yourself and how best to handle these situations.   Sometimes it's better to wait until you're calm to respond to certain situations and the outcome can be considerably more positive than when we respond in a knee-jerk reaction.
3. It may be possible for you to set some ground rules and mutual boundaries which will help your future relationship and avoid such conflicts in the future.
4. You may also have an opportunity to adjust your expectations of the other person for the future, which may perhaps be a more realistic assessment of where your relationship is with them.

So sure, if you're fed-up with someone, discuss it with them.   Few conflicts are resolved without dialogue of some kind.  But take your time to consider the real issue, how important this person is to you and what might have been the motivation behind their actions.

Often what appears to be a deliberate act of malicious behaviour or no more than a misunderstanding, a miscommunication or a different perspective.

If someone loves you enough, they'll forgive your failings and move forward.  If not, then perhaps you don't need them in your life in the first place.